The Scare
Have you ever suddenly been awakened by a rapid surge of burning hot acid shooting up to what feels like the base of your brain? Cutting to the bone of this situation, this was most likely the main catalyst for causing someone- too lazy to get up and change the channel when they can’t find the remote- to lose 70 lbs w/i 9 months. That someone is me. Though 9 months is normally no big feat for such weight-loss, for all those 30-day tough shit workout programs out there to compete with, in this case-IT IS. For someone like me who doesn’t or hasn’t played any real sports, hates to work out and uses dumbbells as door stops, creating a home-made workout program that actually works is not just out of the ordinary, it’s completely insane. But before I share what I’ve been doing for the past year, here’s why…
The FALL
A few years back, maybe 2006-2007, I had noticed that certain characteristics about me had changed for the worst, dramatically. My level of participation in BGSU campus organizations & outside activities, my classroom performance as a business major, and my overall image had been caving into a slump and I didn’t understand why… I couldn’t!
My relationships with friends and family hit coarse terrain with dwindling efforts of communication and my business savvy also took a sharp nose dive. The thing about all of these problems is they can all be either hidden, ignored, or more importantly manipulated by excuses to create a false sense of normalcy, but one problem in particular arose that could not be set aside; serious health problems.
All over campus, this had been the center of huge debate but there hadn’t been a national outcry yet. This was an issue boiling just below the surface. Even with the bullshit health plan we were forcibly given by university administrators, no one could figure out what was truly wrong with me. No matter how much money I did throw at it, doctors in the surrounding area seemed a lot less competent than one would ever suspect. Now I know I was somewhat of a grown-ass man at this point but this quickly became a “MAMAAA” situation. A recently retired nurse with lost faith in medical doctors, luckily, my mother had been studying nutrition for a couple of years. Though she tried to reach out to me multiple times before, I wasn’t tryin to hear that shit. I was more concerned about NOT letting this Brownie Batter Blizzard go to waste, ‘cuz you know- there are starving children in Africa… right.
The Signs
Days turn to weeks later and before I knew it, I was struggling to get up flights of stairs; my clothes became so tight-fitting that I had to buy a whole new wardrobe entirely, and was catching every cold and allergy known to man. For the bulk of my adolescence, I was solid, so to suddenly have all these allergies to the elements that had always been present was ridiculous. “Conveniently,” the pharmacies had pills to combat symptoms but nothing to eliminate the cause. Tums, Pepcid, Benadryl, Tylenol, and plenty others were nothing but a waste of time and money. It soon dawned on me that this was exactly what my mother spoke of; what my father and other friends and family members were going through; becoming a damn meal ticket to the health “care” system by (you) NOT caring for you.
Like a gluttonous pig, I thought “I’m gonna eat what I want, when I want and who the hell’s gonna stop me?” But is that 69cent burger REALLY that cheap when you receive $1000 medical bills months later? One trip to the doctor can cost you that trip to Vegas (I’m still hurting from that one), or Miami; and not only that, you would also feel self-conscious about how you would look once you got there. I hated how I looked and more importantly I hated how I felt and wanted to do something about it.
The Change
In no way did I just get up to get down and start doing crunches and push-ups so I could make it to the beach. Instead, I attentively sat down and thought critically thought about my health and how expensive “cheap” food can really be. Incidentally, my niece and I had stumbled across a White Castle-like shop that sells miniature burgers made with your choice of premium turkey, sausage, beef, or bison meat for a rather affordable price. At some point you have to realize the true value you gain from consuming fresh, quality product, even if it costs and extra 1-3 dollars on average. Fresh food beats out a fresh doctor’s bill any day.
Ordinarily like all fat folks, my food came first, then, the workout had been engineered. I tend to believe the quality of fuel determines the quality of performance and proper preparation ensures that. Though I’m still in self-rehab, I have rendered all allergy medicine useless and unnecessary for the most part, completely eliminated my serious acid reflux problem, beat the Flu with no flu shot or doctor’s visit and lost over 60lbs of excess weight whilst eating pizza and burgers (shout out to Shake Shack)…
I’m NOT telling you to give up everything; I’m just saying give up on anything that will cost you, everything.
Gotta hit the beach now so stay tuned for the next post with a DETAILED breakdown of my home-made LAZYfitness plan. {UP NEXT: "One Small Step..."}
No comments:
Post a Comment
schwhat?